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The rise of the let them theory
Since its release at the end of 2024, Mel Robbins’ book, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About, has taken the self-help world by storm.
Touted as a transformative guide, the book encourages readers to focus on what they can control and to let go of the opinions and actions of others. With over two million copies sold, Robbins has become a household name, celebrated for her relatable approach to personal growth.
A claim to the concept
However, a controversy has emerged surrounding the origins of this philosophy. Cassie Phillips, a Virginia Army wife, asserts that she was the first to articulate the “let them” concept through her viral poem shared on Facebook in 2022.
Phillips’ poem, which resonated with many during her personal struggles, emphasizes the importance of allowing others to reveal their true selves. “If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM,” she wrote, capturing the essence of emotional liberation.
Phillips claims her poem was shared over 50,000 times, inspiring countless others to embrace a similar mindset. She believes Robbins’ book mirrors her work too closely to be coincidental. “It went viral,” Phillips stated, reflecting on how her words provided solace during her own battles with depression and marital challenges.
The response from Mel Robbins
In response to Phillips’ allegations, Robbins has firmly denied any connection to the poem. She maintains that her book is based on extensive research and the insights of over 50 experts, rather than any single source.
“I have not seen her poem, I have not read her poem, and it was not and will never be the source of inspiration for my book,” Robbins stated, emphasizing her commitment to originality in her work.
Despite the back-and-forth, Phillips acknowledges that the phrase “let them” is not unique to her. She cites inspiration from Tyler Perry’s Madea character, who famously advises to let go of those who choose to leave your life. This sentiment has permeated popular culture, appearing in various forms across social media and merchandise.
The trademark battle
As the debate continues, Robbins has sought to trademark the phrase “Let Them” for a range of products, from journals to apparel. However, the US Patent and Trademark Office has raised concerns, deeming it a commonplace expression that cannot be exclusively owned. This development highlights the complexities of intellectual property in the age of social media, where ideas can spread rapidly and become part of the collective consciousness.
Phillips views the situation as a “David and Goliath” struggle, expressing disappointment over Robbins’ handling of the matter. “Had she given me credit, that would have also given me a hand up,” Phillips remarked, wishing for a more authentic acknowledgment of her contribution to the discourse.
The cultural impact of the let them philosophy
Regardless of the origins, the let them philosophy has struck a chord with many, particularly among Gen-Z and young adults navigating the complexities of relationships and self-identity. The idea of relinquishing control over others’ actions resonates deeply in a world where social media often amplifies feelings of inadequacy and comparison.
As discussions around mental health and emotional well-being continue to evolve, the let them theory serves as a reminder of the importance of self-empowerment and personal agency. Whether it originated from Phillips or Robbins, the message remains clear: focus on your own journey and let others be who they are.
