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Understanding celibacy in a hookup culture
In a world where casual relationships and fleeting encounters dominate the dating scene, the choice to remain celibate can seem unconventional. Yet, for some, like 34-year-old Lauren Harkins from Portland, Maine, this decision is not just about abstaining from sex; it’s a conscious lifestyle choice that prioritizes emotional well-being and personal growth.
Harkins, who proudly identifies as a virgin, believes that her celibacy has shielded her from the emotional turmoil often associated with past relationships.
“I genuinely don’t feel bothered or embarrassed about it in any way,” she shares, emphasizing her gratitude for avoiding the “baggage” that many carry from previous romantic entanglements.
In a society that often equates sexual experience with maturity, Harkins challenges the norm by asserting that her lack of sexual history has empowered her to focus on herself and her aspirations.
The emotional impact of casual sex
Harkins argues that casual sex can be more emotionally damaging than many realize.
She finds the idea of engaging in physical intimacy without a strong emotional connection to be “repulsive.” For her, the pursuit of a meaningful relationship is paramount, and she is willing to wait for the right person who can provide the deep emotional and spiritual bond she seeks.
“I believe having casual sex is more emotionally damaging than people would like to think,” she states, highlighting the importance of emotional safety in intimate relationships.
Her perspective resonates with many in the Gen Z and millennial demographics, who are increasingly questioning traditional dating norms.
As more individuals prioritize mental health and emotional stability, Harkins’ story serves as a reminder that it’s okay to take a different path. “I’m quite happy and content on my own at this point,” she asserts, showcasing the strength that comes from self-acceptance.
Living life on your own terms
With over 11,000 followers on Instagram, Harkins openly shares her journey as a chronically celibate woman. She embraces the freedom that comes with being single, allowing her to travel and explore the world without the constraints of a relationship. “It’s always something I’ve been very open about and comfortable sharing,” she explains, encouraging others to embrace their unique journeys without shame.
While some may view her lifestyle as unorthodox, Harkins sees it as a source of empowerment. She acknowledges that everyone moves at their own pace and that there is nothing wrong with choosing to remain single. “I didn’t set out in life to be a 34-year-old virgin, but dating has never been a priority for me,” she reflects, emphasizing the importance of personal choice in a world that often pressures individuals to conform.
